Roller Coaster at 23

اسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته،

Hi all. 

I have been on hiatus mood for a few months and I gathered varies of experiences to be shared in this new post. Well, maybe not all at once!

I underwent an internship for a couple of months after deciding to isolate myself from my coursemate back in college. Therefore, I moved into my brother's house with hesitation. I did receive an invitation to work in an established company as a content writer and it is located somewhere in PJ and near to my second brother's house. However, at the same time, I somehow made a decision to work with the startup financial company in Cyberjaya. 

Guess what. I rejected the offer from this established company just because I thought, I might be given tasks as an assistant rather than actually do a job as a content writer. I asked bits of favour from my siblings, best friends and myself. So finally decided to stay with my third brother in Putrajaya and commuted to work in Cyberjaya. 

...mmmmmmmm...

Things did not always follow as I planned. 

Not only produced contents for blog writing content, I managed inbound and outbound calls with my favourite colleague handled the company's official email and also curating facebook for the back-end and live chat. I pretty much translated the website as well from English to Bahasa and vice versa. And I do not feel burdened since this is what I looked forward to which is to learn and gain experience as much as I can. Well, the internship is for you to prepare and exposing yourself to the real picture of work-life isn't? (yeah sounds like a true Malaysian)

I always hope to be offered a position at this company but I was not lucky enough and maybe not suitable enough for this post. Therefore, I ended my internship as planned and went back to my hometown to kill my time waiting for graduation day.

I filled up multiple of the job sites provided for anyone who's hunting for a job, just named it all. I even dropped my resume and went for a few interviews as suggested by my sisters in law. Yepp I meant it. Both of them gave me a few posts before I graduated. I am grateful to have these two kindest sisters I ever had and frankly speaking, I was not really interested with the position offered. But I gave it a try.

The first job interviewed that I went do not seem to have hope at all. The main Head Quartered is located an hour and 30 minutes away from my house. As I am thinking about this again, an idea came crossed my mind telling that I was not qualified for this job was not because of my qualification. However, my attire during that particular day was a big deal for them and I wore a b&w stripes shirt without makeup and a black scarf. I looked intensely dull formal and not fun. I believed this is one of the reason. Did I mention it is an established fashion clothing company? 

HEW~

A few days after deciding to try my luck for a post as Customer Service Executive in a well-known established finance company, I was accepted to be one of the employees. Underwent training for almost a month with new and fresh knowledge with banking terms and jargon, I managed to keep my positive minds to what we called it, 'Law of Attraction'. I know this phrase that I held for a few months kept me going to serve for this job position. With struggles, hard work, determination to keep on going, I somehow defeated by my own self and cannot keep up with the procedures, management and all sorts of outside pressure. I was emotionally and physically affected by this job and finally made a decision to resign. 

During this past two months, I cried and was pressured to go to work. I lost appetite and not having fun as if I do not know who I used to be. My mind never sleep even after worked and during the weekend. I am not good enough for this job roles. Therefore, I made up my mind to let go of this opportunity to make a lot of money to travel and cross my bucket list. 

At some point, I do regret it for not be able to at least be there for 6 months but at the same time, I lost my passion and to be fair to the consumers and management, I had rather give up all instead of troubling others for my incompetencies. 

To put it all together,

I am not regretting letting go of this job, but I am taking another risk for a better version of me and there is always pros and cons in every step you make.

You should give yourself a mixture of bad and good choices to choose from😉 

Stay tuned for my next post. Wish me good luck for my new job tomorrow.

yada yada,

Jeddot