of being a wallflower, the plain me

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Hey.

Sat, 27th April

Dear you who found yourself lost in the middle of the crowd. It is a super plain Saturday for me and the house. I am home alone and been having a deep thought in which I hate the most.it makes me question myself of what kind of life that I have been living up until this moment. All in all, I can say that I am embracing the empty spaces. Never a black, white or even colourful shades. None of them. 

So tell me again, what life is all about. Is it about people that need to be involved to make it a living proof or the emotion of feeling contented or the things that you could helplessly have with struggle? I am totally drowning. Further away from the edges and everything seem shady and blurry. 

In this year, every single thing will be shared on the net. And every single time I slide on my ig, I never see my life is real anymore and never feel better ever since. Am I the only worthless human in this world? Why do I feel suffocated and couldn't catch my breath? Why do people leave me and never come back? What did I do wrong?

Is this real? Tell me, someone is pulling a prank! Well, at least someone set it up. Am I dreaming? Let me pinch my hand. Oouchhhh!! 
CRAP! You pathetic girl. 
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GO AWAY, lonely soul! just. go. away. and leave me alone. I don't need your negative vibes to ruin my day, and make me internally sad and trigger me to burst into tears. I hate you!

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